A child asks his father, “How are people born?” His father says, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then goes to his mother and asks her the same question. She tells him, “We were mon¬keys, then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child runs back to his father and says, “You lied to me!” His father replies, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
AKPOS THIEF FRIDGE O
Akpos, a cripple, is arrested in connec¬tion with stealing a big refrigerator. On judgment day a High Court¬Judge says, “Upon looking at you, I have seen that you can’t be a thief due to your walking disability. So, since they have disgraced you and your CV has been destroyed,I order you to take this refriger¬ator to be yours from today. Let it be your compensation”. Akpos thanks the Judge and with joy he jumps down from his wheelchair and begins to drag the refrigerator home. After he makes about ten meters, the Judge says, “You have successfully shown us how you stole the fridge. Now, you are sentenced to two years imprison¬ment with hard labour”.
AKPOS NO WAN DIE
Akpos and Ofego are having dinner when suddenly armed robber break into their house. Akpos wants to run but he isafraid that he might be killed, so he freezes himself and stands like a statue. The armed robber ransacks everywhere for money but doesn’t find anymoney. He looks at Akpos’ statue and says to Ofego (Akpos’ friend):
ArmedRobber: Take a look at such a beautiful image you have in your house, yet you don’t have any money, I’m going to destroy this image. (He cocks his gun, points at the image, ready to shoot).
Akpos (screaming out): Please don’t shoot; I am the image of God!
Armed¬Robber: So here you are, I have been praying to you to give me a job but you don’t want to answer my prayer. Today, since I have d opportunity of seeing you, I will not let you escape. When you get to hell, explain to them why you did not want to give me a job (about to shoot).
Akpos (screaming louder): Please, please, I am the image of Akpos. I don’t want to die!
WAHALA GI DI
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new CEO for Mi¬crosoft Europe. Five thousand candi¬dates assembled in a large room. One candidate is a Naija guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for com¬ing and asked those who do not know Java program to leave. Two thou¬sand candidates left the room. Naija guysays to himself, “I do not know Java but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try”. Next, Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had the experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. Two thou¬sand left the room. Naija guy says to himself, “I never managed anybody by myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can hap¬pen to me?” So he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management di¬plomas to leave. Five hundred people left the room. Naija guy says to himself, “I left school at 15, but what have I got to lose?” So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serb-Croatian to leave. Four hundred and nine¬ty-eight candidates left the room. Naija guy says to himself, “I do not speak oneword of Serb-Croatian, but what do I have to lose?” So he stays and finds himself with one other can¬didate (Feranmi). Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joins them and says, “Apparently you are the only two can¬didates who speak Serb–Croatian; I’d like to hear you two have a con¬versation in that language.” Calmly, Feranmi turns to Naija guy and says, “Wahalawa o!”
And Naija guy answers, “Wahalagi¬di!!!”
Naija no dey carry last!