Mrs. Muhammed felt very bad; she felt like ending her life when she discovered that her husband was cheating on her. She has been married for 10 years and had thought that her marriage was one of the marriages made in heaven. To her, her husband was faithful, unlike most men out there.
However, she discovered recently that her husband has been cheating on her by sleeping with a girl living in their neighborhood. She is hurt and determined to pay her husband back. Her plan is to cheat back on her husband as revenge. She believes that, that will make her husband feel the exact pain she is feeling. She needs advice. Ride on;
Revenge is not your job. When you are dealing with a partner who has cheated, you may feel that little voice in your ear urging you to make him pay. But I am here to tell you to silence that voice. Revenge is not the way to handle relationship. Your husband will never feel the same amount of pain and misery as you. Revenge is only a temporary fix; it will not make you feel better or get to the root of the problem. Rather, if you love him, forgive him and pray for him.
Morally, it is bad. Why should you do such filthy act just because you want to pay back? Well, let’s leave the moral aspect of it; you may get hurt by trying to revenge. This is because you may feel used after doing that. To me, a way of paying back is to tell your husband that you have met someone you find attractive and you are asking for his permission to sleep with that person. And that he should allow you since sex outside marriage means nothing to him. I am sure his opinion on sex outside marriage will suddenly change; it will also give him a shock. This is a form of revenge in itself.
As for me, I don’t believe in paying my husband back by sleeping with another man just to take vengeance. As a Muslim, my husband is entitled to marry four wives, but a woman cannot marry two men at a time. Although, it is not easy as a woman to see your husband cheating on you, yet, cheating back is not the best. I would rather prefer him to marry the girl in a legal way and accept the fact that my husband has two wives rather than him cheating on me.
Mrs. Ayi AbdulKadir.
Is vengeance the solution? No, I don’t think so. If you decide to cheat back on your spouse as revenge, it might not give you the satisfaction you want. This is because the person you are cheating on might not know something is going on since it is not easy for you to tell your spouse that you have started cheating on him too as a vengeance, except if you are ready to end your marriage. The end is not achieved; there is this kind of fulfillment you have in vengeance. The fact you know that you have really done what will pain the person is vengeance, but in as much as the person does not know you are cheating on him, we can’t talk about vengeance, that is it.
If my wife should cheat on me, I won’t cheat back on her. To me, cheating back is not the solution because I believe for her to cheat on me, something must have gone wrong. I will call her and ask her what went wrong because if she decides to cheat on me, then somewhere along the line, there is a problem. So, I will take my time and dig into the matter to find out what really is the problem. Of course, she was not like that when I married her; maybe I might have done something. Maybe as a man, I am not man enough. Or I am not doing my responsibility as a man. Maybe she is not getting enough attention from me. So many other things could be connected to this. The solution is not to start cheating back on her; I will rather sit her down and let her voice out, so that a better solution could be found if there is any problem.