JOKES OF THE DAY

A foreign teacher in China

 A teacher was sent to China to teach. The first day he entered the classroom, he began by roll-calling. He called “Sheng.” A student answered “present.” He called the second name, Chumuon. Another student said “present”. Suddenly, he sneezed, “hatchia” one student seated at the corner stood up and said, “Present”. He exclaimed, “Hmm”, all the student shouted, “Absent”. He got confused and said. “Shaa”. Three students stood up and said, ”which of us?” The teacher became more confused and he asked, “What is wrong?” A student stood up and said, “Sir, am not wrong, I’m Wong.” The teacher laughed and said “haaaaaaaaa.” A girl answered “present sir”. The teacher fainted.

THE MANAGER AND THE TASTER

A beer company was hiring a taster, someone to taste the beers before selling out. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, a dirty rough looking man walked into the manager’s office asking to be employed. The manager tried to figure out how he could drive this man away, but could not come up with an idea, so he decided to give the man a trial. He ordered his secretary to give the man a glass of wine. The man took a sip and said, “its red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers”. “That’s correct!” The manager exclaimed, “well give him another let’s see”. So he was given. He took a sip again and said, “Red wine cabinet, eight years old, southwestern slope oak barrels.” “Incredible,” said the manager. Now, the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, “go get some of your urine in a cup let’s see if he will get that.”

So the man was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said “female urine, 26years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I’m not given this job, sir, I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy”.

Die in Peace

A wife was dying. Husband was by her side, she said in a tired voice, ”there’s something I need to confess”. ”Shhhh”, said the husband, ”there’s nothing to confess, everything is alright”. ”No, I must die in peace”, said the wife. “I slept with your brother, your best friend, his friend and your father”. Husband whispered, “I know, that’s why I poisoned you. Now close your eyes and die peacefully my dear.”

FINE FLY DINING

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas.

The other fly looks at him and says, “Hey, do you mind? I’m eating here.”

 

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