Kids love to be told that they are good and that they did something right. Whenever you shout at them for making a mistake, they feel bad and lose confidence, which can lead to low self-esteem. As much as these kids are under your care, it’s okay if you let them make certain decisions for themselves. It is wrong to make them feel they cannot do anything by themselves.
As parents, it is your duty to encourage your children to follow their own paths and develop their abilities. That is one way to make your child develop self-confidence. If you are always in the habit of stepping in to help your children in every task, you will ruin their chances of developing the skills and confidence required to navigate through life. Below are some of the ways you might destroy your child’s confidence and self esteem. Do well to avoid to avoid them.
Trying to live their life for them: Many parents are in the habit of pushing their kids to be what they (parents) want them to be, not minding if the child is happy about it. As parents, it is proper for you to wish your children well and to want them to be successful, but if you try to live their lives for them by forcing them into careers of your choice, instead of theirs, you will end up destroying their self confidence.
Trying to do things that they can do: Yes, it is good that you want to help your child to grow up. But at some point you should allow your child to do it alone. Don’t make that child to become totally dependent on you. Allow them to develop their potentials and grow into wholesome adults.
Comparing them to others: This is one of the many things that will kill a child’s confidence. It is very wrong of parents to compare their child to someone else. For example, a father telling his son “James, can’t you for once get a very good score in your maths like Ahmed”? Instantly the child will start feeling bad. Parents who do this totally destroy every bit of confidence their children may have. Never try to compare your child to anyone.
Trying to speak for them always: Some parents are always in the habit of speaking up for their children even when they are old enough to speak for themselves. These children can become withdrawn and lose confidence in their ability to speak for themselves. Allow your children to express themselves both in private and in public.
Always shouting at the child: Shouting at your children when helping them out with homework, or teaching them a skill can kill their confidence. As a parent you have to be patient with your child. At some point when you ask a question, they will be too scared to answer because of your shouting habit. Always correct them with care and make them feel that they can do it. But don’t over pamper them.
Help your children to develop confidence in themselves so that they can survive in public without you. You might not know what they go through in public when you are not around.
By: Pupwaya Timothy Dibal