Things to have in mind before ‘I do’

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It is truly sad seeing the increasing rate of divorces in our society today. For this reason, before saying, it is pertinent that intending couples consider a lot of things before they take the final step.

Marriage is to be forever; most women dream of the moment when they are asked, “Will you marry me?” and they therefore say yes immediately without thinking.

While you may be under pressure to get married and have kids like other people around you, there are certain things you need to know. Marriage is a life long journey and one in which the couple are encouraged to develop certain traits and virtues.

Patience is one of the major virtues everyone going into marriage is expected to possess. Being married is totally different from courtship and lots of people feel they could handle married life because they have dated their partners for long and feel they know a lot about them already. Most people get disappointed when they start that phase of life and discover all they have been seeing with their partners was just the tip of the iceberg. Newly married people tend to observe and see their partners put forth different behaviors and this is always a challenge.

For example; a man that was caring pampering you flaunting you; suddenly becomes aggressive and don’t even spend time with you. A man that you thought will never hit you suddenly becomes a bully.  Irrespective of the experiences you must have had as a woman, there are certain things you need to know before you walk down that aisle. In this article, are useful and helpful tips that would prepare you for that life long journey, bringing to light some  every woman should know before she seals her fate by taking that step of commitment:

He could become a demon

Irrespective of the fact that people around you may have told you about you and your partner being the perfect match, he could become a demon after marriage. The sweet, loving and charming man you married may become insensitive to your needs and could become a stranger after a while. No one is trying to scare you, it is just a fact many people choose to ignore because they think their own marriage would be a smooth ride. Cases of domestic violence is on the rise every day. Some don’t even live to tell their sad stories, because they end up dead. Make sure you find out who he really is before you make that big commitment. Even if it means to find out from people that know him too well.

Do not ever think you can manage him

Many women who suffer domestic violence in their homes saw the signs before they got married. They might have been warned severally to let go of the man, but they always give excuses and defend him. They will say “he didn’t mean to hit me, I pushed him to the wall” or “he loves me and I know once we are married he will stop”. Many went ahead with the marriage thinking the men would change and things would get better. This is merely fallacy of self-consolation, they hardly do. Do not ever think a man would change after marriage; if he makes it a habit to hit or beat you during courtship because you did something wrong, he would definitely do it again when you are married.

Do not marry a man who does not love you as much as you love

It is a very beautiful thing for you to marry a man you love but do not ever make the mistake of marrying a man who does not love you as much as you love him. A lot of women will go the extra mile of showing their man how much they love him. But have you ever thought about the fact that he doesn’t even take you out, introduce you to his friends, get you gifts etc. When you notice that your man doesn’t do things it is expected of every man, girl you have to think through before you say I do.

A man is polygamous by nature

Before you take that decision and commit your life to a man, you should know that men are polygamous by nature. A man would still cheat on you; it is not because he has stopped loving you but because it is in their nature to want to try out something different. They get bored easily and would jump at an adventure that has to do with sex outside the walls of marriage. Also, it should be known that leaving your husband because he has cheated is no guaranty that the next man would be better.

You need to possess certain qualities

If you are a woman with great qualities, it would be difficult for your man to walk out on you. This means it would be important for you to equip yourself before you get married and be financially independent. This does not stop there, if you are a good cook, his family loves you and even his friends say nice things about you then you can say I do when he pops he question.

Your happiness is totally dependent on you

It is understandable that you love your fiancé; but you should also learn to be the major key to your own happiness. Trust in God and never substitute His presence for the love of any man. This would help you a great deal.

No marriage is perfect

Every adorable couple you see has battles they are fighting when no one is with them. Do not compare your situation to theirs as you do not know what lies ahead of them. Every one you see around you has one problem or the other, what makes them different from the couples that break up is the fact that they are able to manage the affairs. Be wise in your decisions and make it your duty to work on yours too. When you and your fiancé are constantly fighting, try and ensure you settle. But if he is not the type that is willing to let go of small issues, then you have to think hard before you say I do.

The reality is that the future is uncertain and nothing can guarantee a successful marriage. However, think through before you say I do so that you don’t end up regretting.

Source: Olufamous

 www.modernghana.com 

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By Pupwaya Timothy Dibal

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