Proposal: who should ask?

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The way ladies are proposing to their men is becoming a trend in Nigeria and is quite disturbing. Because they get turned down by the men and its embarrassing. Let’s view this issue in some certain ways.

Traditional views
We are Africans and Africans are known to do things in a certain ways going in line with how things should be done because we have cultures, traditions and morals. So when someone tries to break it, it becomes so obvious. And when it doesn’t turn out well as planned there is a cuss out. In religion (Christianity and Islam) It is said that a ‘’man” not a “woman” should find a woman whom would be a help mate to him. It is also recorded that “he” not “she” who finds a wife finds a good thing and with this “he” the man will obtain favour from God. So tell me ladies why the rush just because you have been dating for some years and he is yet to propose doesn’t mean you should go ahead and do so. Or you feel because we are in the 21st century things should be done in a modern way? We are Africans and we should learn to do things according to our customs’ and traditions.

Emerging trends
I remembered few days into the New Year, a video went viral of a lady who proposed to her boy on her knees in a public place. The painful part was that her boyfriend rejected her offer and her friends who clearly  encouraged her to do the proposal and also prodding cheering the man to say yes which he did not began to console her. Of course the lady will feel bad for a very long time due to the fact that the video went viral and a whole lot of people has seen it. And of course; it is heartbreaking and annoying seeing that decorum and etiquette have been thrown to the dog.
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Are you prepared?
It is really crucial before you propose, to ask yourself if you and your partner are ready. And to do that, it is advisable you do so in a private place where it is only the two of you and there are no third parties in case it does not go well. And if it does go well,  you can then make a proper announcement or even act the whole proposal thing in  public with friends and pictures to go with it. Ladies, there is time for everything, just wait for your turn. When you love someone, work at the relationship, fight for it but don’t be desperate about it. Hold on to who you love because finding real love is so rare. Your attitude attracts the right person. Love hard with wisdom and know you tried your best. And just so you know, a confident woman is irresistible. Wear your self-confidence like a crown.

By Maimuna Bagudu

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