Nobody is perfect for we are all humans. Therefore, we are bound to make mistakes and it’s totally OK to slip or offend our partners.
It’s very essential as humans to acknowledge our faults, feel bad about our bad actions and of course, apologize for our mistakes.
Now, how you apologize and the manner in which you tender your apology matters a great deal. Most of us tend to apologize in a way that rubs off even worse on our partners and at the end of the day, further ruin our chances of being forgiven.
Below are the wrong ways to apologize to your partner:
1. Point out they had wronged you the same way: It doesn’t really matter if your partner did the same thing to you previously, what matters is your ability to apologize calmly and peacefully and when apologizing, refraining from mentioning or bringing up what has happened in the past.
2. Remind them of how good you’ve been: That you have been good for so long does not excuse you from apologizing and doing it right when you have messed up. Never remind your partner how good you’ve been until he/she pushed you to the wall to react.
3. Use of nasty tone: An apology doesn’t mean anything if you say it with attitude. People notice it if your words say “I’m sorry” but your tone say “go to hell.” The words aren’t enough. Tone is everything while tendering an apology to your partner. Make sure you use the coolest and most respectful tone while apologizing and let your expression show how remorseful you are.
4. Laying blame on something else: Accept responsibility instead of blaming it on the stressful day you had at work – people have terrible days every time and never take it out on their partners. Don’t blame it on alcohol or mood or other things either. Just take responsibility for your actions.
5. Making it out to be a smaller deal than it is: Don’t try to downplay what you did. All the talking in the world won’t minimize the pain you caused the other person. You can’t get someone to rationalize away their feelings.
BY MAIMUNA BAGUDU