GETTING OVER A HEARTBREAK

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Heartbreak is a term used to describe crushing grief, anguish, and distress, often due to the pains and strains of love. The experience of heartbreak can be so intense that some scientists suggest it feels the same as physical pain. In one study, people showed similar brain activity when they viewed a photo of a former love and when they felt extreme heat on their arm. In fact, it might even be true that people can die of a broken heart. Heartbreak really can hurt the human heart. Managing a heartbreak is an art, you get over it gradually, a number of studies have analysed what really happens, and how we can deal with.

Managing a heartbreak is an art, you get over it gradually,a number of studies have analysed what really happens, and how we can deal with.

Get someone to talk to.

What happens to you when you have someone else to talk to is that you open up a channel to unload whatever hurt or hate you might feel towards your ex. When you talk to someone or share your pain with someone close to you, the pain reduces in your heart, it is said that a problem shared is half solved, confiding in someone close to you is a sort of healing process, as you would be comforted and have someone close to you while you try to pick yourself again.

Be honest with yourself if you’re truly wanting to get over a broken heart or if you’re harbouring secret hopes that the two of you will get back together. While this is not wrong in any way (many of us feel it), if the relationship is over, it will definitely impede your progress of moving on. It helps when you can remember not to see the relationship through rose coloured glasses. It’s so tempting to look back on a relationship and only see it for the potential you believe it had. We tend to remember the part where we were falling in love, when they were at their best selves, when we were at our best self, when we had ridiculous sex or that surprise dinner that was everything. But there is a reason why you broke up. Be honest with yourself and the relationship for what it was, not just what you remember it as being.

Go on a vacation.

Getting away to an exotic location or somewhere peaceful is a potent source of distraction. You can arrange to go somewhere out of town with friends or alone, get yourself your favourite place. Doing this helps a great deal because it can give you peace of mind. Getting away to an exotic location or somewhere peaceful is a potent source of distraction, and a changed environment in this situation is necessary.

Get busy

Occupy yourself with work, concentrate on whatever you do for a living, do not allow yourself to become idle. Idleness tends to bring negative and scary thoughts. Keeping your mind busy reading a book or watching interesting movies will go a long way too. Go for a run while blasting your favorite music through your headphones. Punch a punching bag (seriously, kickboxing class helps in getting through a lot of emotions). Get your sweat on in some way, and do it consistently. Keep off negative thoughts in your mind and make sure you don’t entertain unnecessary thoughts too.

Beware of social media. 

Going through a breakup in a time where your ex’s whereabouts are just a few clicks away adds another layer of confusion. How you handle the situation really depends on how things ended between you, and the network you share.  Also, keep in mind that social media is where we put our best selves forward, which can be hard to witness when a breakup is fresh. Seeing photos of your ex looking happy doesn’t mean they’ve gotten over you so easily or that you’re behind in the process, but it can feel that way- which is why it is a smart idea to hide their updates at the very least, if you can’t quite bring yourself to “unfriend “or block  them altogether. In doing this, the healing process will be better.

Forgive.

Forgiveness is not about the other person or letting them off the hook. Forgiveness is for you. In fact, the definition of forgiveness is to stop feeling anger or blame at someone who has done something wrong.

Most of the time if a relationship didn’t work out, it simply wasn’t a good fit. If we’re coming from a place of full self-esteem, we would be able to see that and move on. But often, in a relationship we feel a “spark” with someone for reasons that we cannot possibly understand. They come from deep seated beliefs as a child, and that person triggered a hurt or pain inside of you. Don’t allow this hurt and anger to become your story while they’re out there moving on. By forgiving, you break the chains that are binding you and allow yourself to live a better life with the person you are meant to be with. Write a letter of forgiveness, say a prayer, or set the intention to forgive.

The secret to getting over a breakup lies within you. If you find yourself continuing down the same path with the same type of guys, then commit to uncovering and healing your patterns.

Keep faith that you will find amazing soul level love. You deserve it.

By Maryam Islam.

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