Bearing children is not the ultimate. Parenting style, training type, discipline and doctrines we instil on children are but serious factors not to be ignored in child upbringing. Doing all these and more, require not just spending a lot of time with the children but creating quality time for the children.
However, in the midst of this proposition, there is recognizably a sizeable amount of parents who spend less time with their children. Some parents leave home very early in the morning when their children are still asleep and come back late night when the children are back to bed. And so, the children are left at the mercy of a nanny or a house help. This is mostly seen among parents that have Western education and are working class. This class of people, some of them can’t even have time to attend to their children homework and play other parental responsibilities. And for this in some instances, some kids only grow to know less of their parents or don’t know them at all since there is no time created for familiarization.Although this may not be unconnected with the challenge of making ends meet, but training children must not be short changed with the strive to live or earning a living.
Of course,nannies and house helps help in taking care of the children but who is there to monitor what these children are being taught by the house helps or the nannies. It is no longer news to hear of sexual molestation, defiling of minors, injuring children and some forms of home conflicts inflicted on children by nannies, some even to the point of house helps been responsible for the death of a child
To some of these nannies and house helps,the children become a tool for sexual gratification and training since they have enough privacy – living in the house alone without extra eye for regulations.While some might be engaged in smoking, drinking and learning any other indiscipline behaviours since the parents won’t know or see when such acts are being displayed. In such circumstance, to the child or children, the care giver is their nanny and so, the nanny becomes a role model, a parent and a teacher to the children and become volatile to internalizing whatever comes from the nanny.
Even though some couples live a hectic life in trying to make end meets, working to earn money to feed and pay school fees and other family needs, making the need for extra hand inevitable, it is also quite imperative for parents to actually play their roles as parents and play it well. There is that need for balancing work and family time in a way that children can relate to you, feel you and share their thoughts, experience and what they are going through. There is that need to go out with the children and listen to them, share time and have fun with them. That makes up a bond or strengthen it.
Parents are also expected to be vigilant in the behaviours of their children. There are a lot happening in the lives of children like molestation, punitive experiences and a whole lot more that children might not report to the parents. Sometimes all it takes is a little time to relate and converse with these children and like a miracle, unknown problems would be exposed and solved simultaneously.
Children are responsibilities to take care of. Taking care of their needs that requires finance alone is not enough. Psychological contacts and social bonds are necessary for developing and moulding a child in the shape and mode of one’s desire. Therefore, we should create quality time to spend with our children.
By Maryam Islam.