As a woman when it comes to your self esteem, only one opinion truly matters; “Your own”. Just recently, I had a hangout session with the girls during the weekend. It went all interesting and a lot of stories where shared. Throughout the evening, I noticed there were so many exclamations of “sorry” all across the room.
And then I wondered to myself why all the apologies where going on at the slightest and little things happening around the room. And then it struck me as a woman for I know many women tend to personalize mistakes and over- apologize for even the smallest of errors. Thus I found it amusing to witness first-hand how many apologies were being thrown around during what was ultimately a laid-back, fun event. I then began to wonder: Do men say “sorry” this much when they are hanging out? And then having the experience with hanging out with men, sometimes I noticed women over-apologize for no reason.
Don’t get me wrong my readers, I’m not trying to stereotype, but the fact is, in general, women seem to struggle with the tendency to over-apologize. And it likely relates to self-esteem. Unfortunately, the tools required to help improve or build self-esteem is not taught in childhood, schools or places of worship. Most often, they are things individuals learn only when they are struggling through life. Struggles like relationship problems, anxiety and what have you, makes them seek help.
One thing is for sure, I strongly believe everyone, especially women, deserve self-confidence. And women can benefit greatly from developing themselves because self-confidence impacts on every area of life, career, relationships, parenting, emotional health and overall well-being of a woman. It is very important as a woman to gain a better understanding of how you can actively build and maintain a healthy sense of self-worth.
So let’s go through the following steps together.
1. Know yourself: As a woman, it is very important to know who you are in order for you to build your self-esteem. You need to get involved with yourself; knowing what you want out of life, and developing an awareness of how your past experiences have shaped the person you are today. It requires paying a huge attention to how you treat yourself and developing awareness of the internal messages you grapple with.
2. Care for yourself: It is very essential for a woman to take care of herself by doing this as a woman; you will be recognizing how powerful your internal voice is and learning to use your brain in developing more effective thinking patterns. This involves acting as your own cheerleader and being mindful that things such as diet, exercise, sleep, and setting realistic expectations; all play a role in how you feel about yourself. In summary caring for yourself means ensuring you take time out to nurture your spirit by doing things you enjoy.
3. Respect yourself: respecting yourself is key when it comes to developing your self esteem as a woman. It involves assessing and upholding your values without sacrificing your well-being to please others. It’s about developing trust in yourself and learning skills to become more assertive.
4. Accept yourself: in order to promote a healthy self-esteem as a woman, you have to acknowledge your limits and imperfections, accepting your mistakes and learning to deal with criticism. It is also necessary to know your threshold for stress, developing self-compassion, and forgiving yourself for faults or mis-steps you took in the past.
5. Love yourself: above all, to demonstrate self-esteem, you must believe in your worth and care about your future. Loving yourself means treating yourself as well as you treat friends and loved ones. In so doing this, it involves creating better boundaries in relationships; it also entails celebrating your strengths and learning to accept compliments.
BY MAIMUNA BAGUDU