Let’s not sugar coat it here, but for those who have been there know better that a long distance relationship is never an easy task. Although many people believe that long distance relationships don’t ever work out, but in some cases it does. A lot of issues might arise, family members may discourage it, and friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken. Well, nobody says it is going to be easy or rosy, in fact the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated of course, and you could get sad and lonely most of the times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, taking a long walk together, laughing at each other… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship. Long distance relationship may be very difficult but it has its own advantage and surprises too. In order to keep your relationship alive, healthy and strong, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind that would make your long distance relationship work:
1. Try and avoid excessive communication.
It is not healthy in any relationship to be overly “sticky” and possessive. In as much as communication is important, you two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going, according to an article by lifehack.org. Many couples thought that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more, so they think talking throughout the day is the key. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired. Keep I mind that the other person too has a life. In anything you do, less is more. It is not about spamming; you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments.
2. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.
3. Try to communicate regularly.
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
4. Have a goal in mind.
“What are you achieving at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down at some point in time. So make a plan with each other. Draw up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same time zone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
5. Avoid unnecessary issues
Try to not create unreasonable issues. If you know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either not do it or at least inform your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her. Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels extra powerless/lacking in control. Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation. Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.
6. Always stay positive.
You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the relationship to keep it alive and strong. Of course the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonesome but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet and worth it. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love, someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things like simple text messages, the telephone calls, pictures sent and recorded videos. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety. Most importantly be thankful that you have someone who cares.
7. Give something to always hold on to.
There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a CD of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do, we try to store memories in physical things, in hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.
8. be honest with each other at all time.
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.