English Lesson
Teacher: Today we will talk about question tags.
Examples: ”She is coming, isn’t she?”
”They have eaten, haven’t they?” Now who can give me another example?
Abu: Sir! Na yam we go chop today, chopn’t we?
Teacher: What kind of sentence is that? Please who can help correct him?
Akpos: Sir! Na yam we go chop today yamn’t we?
Teacher: You guys must be stupid. Must you joke with everything?
Oya, Emmanualla, as we already know, you are brilliant. Give us an example.
Emmanualla: Na motor go kill our teacher, killing it?
Teacher: Na motor go kill your father, stupid girl.
EBOLA
A man went to church on Sunday and gave testimony that he was infected with Ebola and God healed him. When he had finished his testimony, he tried to give the mic to the second person but the second person refused to take the mic.
Second Person: I have no testimony. Give the mic to the pastor
Pastor: I am not in charge of testimonies, so give it to the senior pastor.
Senior Pastor: Brother in Christ, the mic is yours, it’s a gift from the church. Take it home.
AKPORS
Akpors found a missing purse and returned it to the owner in a market.
The lady was so grateful but when she opened the purse, she got confused and said ”But I had just a single note of a thousand naira, now there are ten notes of one hundred naira. How come?”
Akpors said ”Na me change am because the last time I helped person find purse she say she for give me something but change no dey!!”
SUGER AND COWBELL
I met one small boy crying with two ten naira notes in his hand. I asked him why he was crying. He said his mother sent him to buy 10 naira sugar and 10 naira Cowbell. But him don forget which of the 10 naira be for sugar and which one be for Cowbell.
ANGEL
A five-year-old girl asked her mother: ”Mummy, shebi all angels use to fly?”
Her mother said, ”Yes, they do, and why do you ask?”
The girl said: “Yesterday when you went to the saloon to make your hair, Daddy called our housemaid ANGEL. Mummy will she fly?”
Mummy replied, ”Yes! She will fly to village tomorrow and she will never return!.”
