Your kids are your lifeblood, and you will do anything for them just to make them happy. You will even decide to go out of your way to make sure that anything they want they will get it even if it means sacrificing your last kobo. Well, my dear super-mom and dad, there are some things you will have to stop doing for your kids if you want them to grow up to be good, do things for themselves and also be able to stand up for themselves. Here are five totally well-intentioned “helping” behaviours that might be doing your kids more harm than good.
Cooking them whatever they want
You have spent the entire day making a healthy vegetable soup with wheat or semovita, but when you sit down to eat, your five-year-old demands indomie and egg. So, off you go to make it because you don’t want him or her to cry. By catering to his or her every demand, you are reinforcing bad habits and limiting his or her ability to try new things. Instead, you can insist that child eats what you have cooked or stays hungry. You will be surprise when he or she will grab that place of food from your hand and start eating it. Or if you have the time while cooking, you can prepare different kinds of food and offer a couple of options at each meal (one of which is a known favourite) and let your child pick from those.
Doing their homework
Everyone wants their kids to do well in school and that is not a bad thing. And while helping your children with homework is a completely normal part of parenting, a recent University of Texas study maintains that too much help may result in more harm than good: That is if you keep doing it for your child. So instead of staying up late meticulously colouring a solar system or even helping the child to draw, allow your kids the space to succeed, and maybe even fail, all on their own. This will make them to try and do it better next time.
Getting them dressed
Some parents won’t just stop dressing their child even if that child has come of age. According to an American Academy of Paediatrics spokeswoman who was interviewed, letting kids dress themselves is a natural part of development, precisely because it allows them to “assert authority and test limits.” Just take lots of pictures to torture them with later when they are all grown up. The best thing to do as a parent is that when they have finished dressing, check them out and see if they didn’t miss a button hole, or if they wore the right blouse for the right skirt.
Picking up their toys
Probably you have spent the whole day sweeping and mopping the house, all thanks to your children. Then after the day is over and they’ve gone to bed, you need another hour to pick up their toys and shoes thrown all over the house. Children are messy, but it’s never too early to get them involved in helping out. Letting them have control over their space will teach them responsibility, gratitude and also give you a break. You don’t have to make your five year old child wash the bathroom, but putting his or her toys back in place will make a huge difference.
Fixing all of their problems
The toy-sharing politics among kids can be more contentious than a Senate hearing. But as long as they aren’t getting physical, letting your children work it out among themselves will build social skills and give them a healthy dose of real life negotiating. That child you are over pampering might turn out to be a great future leader. It’s time to stop and let your child grow up.
By: Pupwaya Timothy Dibal
