JOKES
THE STRANGER
A stranger sent Akpos a text message… “Good evening sir, how was your day? I am so sorry for disturbing you. I got your number from someone you know. I urgently need your assistance; I need some money, which is paramount to my life, and I do not know if you can assist me with any amount sir. You can talk to me through text message because I am deaf.
Akpos quickly replied the message, “Sorry please, I can’t see what you wrote. I’m blind!”
HORSE AND ZEBRA
TEACHER: Ali, can you differentiate between a horse and a zebra?
Ali: Yes sir
TEACHER: (brings a picture of a horse) which one is this?
Ali: It is a horse, sir.
TEACHER: Excellent! (Now brings a Zebra) And which one is this?
Ali: It is still a horse sir, but now it is wearing pajamas.
POLICE AND THEIR FUNNY QUESTIONS
POLICE: Why is your laptop bag empty; you want to steal a laptop and keep it in the bag abi? Oya, enter the motor!
POLICE: Oga your Range Rover Sport car is fine o. Oya, use it to hit that wall there let us see if your airbag is working. (Man refuses!)
Police: Oh! So you don’t want to use it to hit the wall abi? Oya, park!!! I say park before I break your head with my baton.
POLICE: Why is your car not having A/C? You want to use heat to kill yourself. You want to commit suicide abi? Oga, park well!
POLICE: The picture on your driver’s license, you carry afro (lots of hair), why do you now carry low cut? Come down now!
POLICE: Why do you have fertilizer in your boot? You are growing weed abi? Follow us to the station!
MAN: He snatched my WALLET and I was about to shout “THIEF” when three HEAVY slaps landed on my face. I did not see anything for thirty minutes except STARS.
POLICEMAN: Can you describe the stars?
LANDLORD’S VISIT
This brief conversation ensued between Adams and his landlord…
LANDLORD: (knocks at Adams door)
ADAMS: (Opens the door)
LANDLORD: Hey man, I’m looking for my house rent?
ADAMS: You can come in let us look for it together
90-YEAR-OLD SECRET
Someone asked an old man: Even after 90 years, you still call your wife ‘Darling’, ‘Honey’, ‘Love’. What is the secret?
OLD MAN: I forgot her name 10 years ago and I am scared to ask her
PRINCIPAL’S DAUGHTER
MUSA: Isn’t our principal an idiot?
GIRL: Do you know who I am?
MUSA: No…
GIRL: I am his daughter.
MUSA: Do you know me?
GIRL: No!
MUSA: Thank God.
