Help! My husband of 3 years is gay


Marriage; is the merging of two bodies and souls into one. Even though marriage is not a bed of roses, but if the couple truly loves each other; they will strive to endure all the challenges that come with it. But what if one partner is gay or lesbian and there have never been any inclination to that? A young lady shared her devastating experience of having to find out that her husband whom she has been married to for 3 years was actually gay.

Read her story below:

‘I got married to my husband in January 2013 in a well attended society wedding and all my singles friends wished they were in my shoes. My wedding was the talk of town as a lot of notable people attended the wedding. My husband is a very caring man who always made out time for me and my son. We did not lack anything. Every weekend, he hangs out with his friend; who was the best man at our wedding, while I and my son go and visit my mother-in-law. He also made sure that he performs his conjugal duties; and he has always been attentive to my sexual needs. So I had nothing to suspect, or believe that he could be involved in a gay relationship.

Then, one particular weekend, his friend came over to see him as usual and I left with my son to see his mother. On our way to Lekki (not real place) where she lives, the car broke down and I tried calling my husband to get the number of his mechanic because he always insists I call him whenever I have any challenge with the car. I called him severally and he did not answer his calls. I finally got the car repaired when I got another mechanic close by to fix the car. But I decided to drive back home since I wasted all my time trying to fix the car. On my way back home, I kept calling him but there was no response which really got me worried. Immediately I drove into the compound, I saw my husband seeing his friend off, and I angrily asked him why he didn’t pick my calls nor return them. He then explained that his phone was on silent mode and apologized. Since I knew he has never behaved such; I let the matter go and then went to prepare dinner.

He ate dinner and went straight to bed early that night, so I decided to close the door to his study. Then I noticed the portable camera we use when we are in the room together. I was so surprised and wondered why my husband chose to watch our video in his study. Another thought even crept in my mind and I thought will my husband show his friend our tape? I quickly shrugged it off and moved to put off the camera, when I saw a picture of two men in the mini view lens paused. I decided to play it and what I saw almost threw me off my feet; I almost fainted. It was my dear husband, the love of my life, the father of my cute son and the man I have spent many years with kissing and sleeping with his so called best friend. I just couldn’t bear what I was watching anymore, so I shouted and screamed his name to come. When he came, he thought something happened to me, but when he noticed the tape was playing, he was shocked. He told me that he has been gay all this while, but he decided to get married so his parents and other relatives would not suspect him.

All the while that he was talking to me; I felt like I was dreaming and I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. But alas, it was all too real. He begged me not expose his secret because it will destroy him and also kill his parents. Since then, I have not been able to look him in the face or even share my emotions with him. He has been begging me but I do not think I can live this lie anymore. I am planning to file for a divorce because I don’t want my son to take after his father.


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