It’s easy to get stuck in a relationship rut! What was once all weekends away, spontaneous sex and staying up all night dancing, drinking or talking about nothing can somehow transform into a relationship routine. You may still love each other as much as you ever have done, but the spark and excitement in a relationship can fizzle out over time. There are things you can do to fuel that spark though and get it burning bright again. Just because the fireworks have burned out doesn’t mean they can’t be re-lit.
NEVER STOP DATING; For many of us, dating is what we do at the beginning of a relationship, but it’s worth carrying on. A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as changing or creating an atmosphere, If your typical date night is to stay in, order pizza and watch a movie, switch the pizza out for your partner’s favourite homemade dish and light some candles rather than using the table lamp.
LEARN NEW SKILLS; By continually developing skills in new areas, you show your partner they don’t have you all figured out yet. “Two things are needed for long term relationships to survive and thrive – love and desire,” says Hussey. Love is created through the investment you and your partner put into each other – the acts of care. Desire is created in the mystery between two people, something that is often lost when two people feel they know everything about each other.
GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE; The best gift you can give someone is the chance to miss you. It’s only by spending time apart that you can think about how much you love your partner. When you spend time apart from your partner, you’ll realize whether life is better with them in it or not. There’s nothing worse than being on top of each other all
the time as every little habit will start to annoy you. By spending time apart, you have more to talk about together too.
TRY NEW THINGS IN THE BEDROOM; A lot of men love to take the lead sexually but don’t feel confident expressing their unspoken desires. if you’re the person in the relationship who rarely instigates sex, make your partner feel safe by taking them to a sex shop, picking out something you like, and saying, I’d love it if you’d use this on me, that tells your partner it’s OK to share their fantasies.
PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY: There’s often something that can come between even the strongest couples – your phone. If you want your partner to feel they have you completely, you can’t keep checking your phone in front of them all the time. There’s a time and place that you need to communicate and be present; you can’t do that if you would rather read your emails or catch up on the latest gossip. Focusing on each
other will help truly keep the passion alive.
MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER: Present-buying can be tricky, but one of the best gifts you can give your partner is simply time. Make a mini day-trip to a place that neither of you have been before, or go learn something new together. Not only will you have spent quality time with your mate, you’ll also have just created a new point of connection and conversation.
APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE: At the end of the day, you must never stop letting your partner know how grateful you are to have them in your life – the easiest way is simply to tell them how much they mean to you. It sounds obvious but is all too easy to forget. Buy them a small gift or cook them a meal, It’s the little gestures that will help you hold on to the happiness you have. And that way, your relationship will stay as fuelled up as when you first got together!
BY STEPHANIE ERDOO HEMEN
