5 Things Men Are Looking for When They Cheat


Why do men cheat? It’s an age-old question with a whole lot of answers.

Every man has a different reason why he cheats. Maybe he is looking for a small bit of solace after enduring a painful relationship. Maybe he is just so self-centred that he can’t think past his own need for pleasure. Or maybe he is just a very sad person, with a penchant for self-destruction, or he just wants to hurt his spouse because he was once hurt by a lady he loved so much.

Okay, so here’s the bad news: Some men cheat. Not all men, but some men and, hey, some women also commit acts of infidelity. But should you be concerned that your partner has been unfaithful, here’s what you should know. The truth is, there’s never one reason why a guy strays. The whole cheating thing would be a lot easier if there was a blanket diagnosis for all men on the face of the earth. But the truth is, men as well as like women, are complicated creatures with a multitude of reasons for doing what they do.

Below are some of the reasons why some men cheat:


We all love to be appreciated, be you man or woman. Even children love it when parents appreciate them. Men love to be appreciated, and they don’t ask for it because they expect you as their spouse to always show it. So, when it stops being quite so plentiful from their spouse, and if the relationship contains a heavy dose of blame and criticism or even possibly contempt, men start looking for positive affirmations from others.


As relationships mature, power struggles tend to become more prevalent. When a man experiences repeated power struggles with his spouse, his natural tendency is to “go to his cave”, which really means get quiet and distant and grumpy! This makes emotional connection that much more difficult. Over time he misses the emotional connection he previously felt with his spouse. When he meets someone new and they accept him for “who he is” it’s much easier for him to connect with his emotions and feel connection with this new and interesting person. Of course, when the lust and honeymoon period are over and the power struggles start to arise in the new, he will likely revert to his well-learned pattern and his struggles will start all over again.


Everyone wants to feel wanted regardless of age, gender or occupation or even regardless of how we look. Men are no different just like women. And men tend to be socialized to provide security and strength as an expectation, rather than something to be appreciated for. As life moves along a man can often feel like his contribution is taken for granted and who he is, as opposed to what he can provide, becomes less important. If you don’t show your man that you always want him, he will start looking for a woman that will want him.


Men want a partner who will listen, who will volunteer information about their own lives and, and someone who smiles and excitedly shares their hopes and dreams. They always, when they are not busy, want to get that intimacy with their spouse. If you don’t want your man to cheat on you, better give him that intimacy when it is required of you.

#5. SEX:

Speaking of fun activities, men generally do want sex and the more the better. Sex is one way that men feel connected to their partner. Men also feel appreciated and wanted when they make love with their partner. So, for men, sex provides the first four items on our list, plus physical pleasure that allows men to focus totally on the present moment. In a new relationship, the sex tends to be a lot more frequent.

By Pupwaya Timothy Dibal


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